Zero Unread

Is it unsafe to have an emotional connection to your Inbox? After spending the weekend in Las Vegas, often frowning on gambling (and when I say that, I mean standing over a blackjack table making a "sad" face), I feel like mine takes the the place of the roulette wheel. I peer up from whatever I'm doing, say (in a midwestern accent), "Arright come ahn now, come ahn. Big money. Come ahn."

Alas. And it should be noted that I check my email countless times a day. If I instituted a marshal punishment, where I pricked my finger every time I checked my email, a bloodbath would ensue, because I'd have moved on to all ten digits by mid afternoon.

The emotional part comes from the fact there are few things, save cross country flights, that I will let separate me from my precious Inbox. Today, I was in Pasadena handing out free movie tickets like an asshole, and I walked at least three blocks to the Apple Store to check it. And not once, not twice, but thrice. Thrice! By the way, my returns on the movie ticket thing were two takers, and one pamphlet from the Lyndon Larrouche campaign.

I'll sometimes wish that my email was as attentive to me as I am to it. But then I realize that if something asked me "Anything new? Anything new? Anything new? Anything new? Anything new?" all day long, I would do more than prick it's fingers.















I need a job.